Wednesday, October 3, 2012

BElieve in YOU

Well I've did OK this last week.  I drank alcohol and ate crappy fast food over the weekend.  But other than that I stayed on point with my nutrition.  I cut drinking slurpees and Starbucks which was a lot easier than I figured it would be and I feel really good about it.  I keep thinking about how hard and miserable it is to be overweight.  No diet, no "lifestyle change", no workout, nothing is as hard as waking up feeling like dirt on the ground when your overweight.  This morning I woke up feeling like crap, I had no text messages, no Facebook love, and quite honestly I felt unwanted and crappy.  Then I crawl out of bed and look in the mirror and blame all of my problems on the way I look and feel.  I HATE feeling overweight.  The feeling/high I experienced when I was down more weight (not even at goal) is irreplaceable.  I will be back there, and no it won't fix ALL of my problems, but I feel when you wake up and you look in the mirror and you are proud of the way you look and proud that your PJ's are falling off (not tight like mine) it gives you this empowerment that you can do anything and take on the world.  I love that feeling, and don't get me wrong I often have that feeling, but often times that angry little bitch voice in the back of my head creeps up and tell me " ok, tell yourself that, whatever to get you through the day hun".  It's a constant struggle now, between getting down on myself and constantly having to re inspire myself and pull myself up by my shoelaces.  Before it was effortless, I woke up and I was so proud of how hard I was working and the body and lifestyle I created for myself.  In great news, after I woke up feeling unwanted I weighed myself and I was down 3 lbs!  WOO!  I plan on having a almost flawless week with no alcohol at all this week!  I know I can do it!  Even though I have a constant struggle the positive ALWAYS outweighs that negative bitch voice.   I am my biggest cheerleader and I want myself to succeed more than anyone.  Remember if you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else too?