I spent 4 hours at the gym.....

I have never ever ever done that... Ever..... My friend told me he would meet me there at 9 to lift so I decided to go earlier and get my cardio in. I got there at 8:20 and got on the elliptical. He got there at 9 and we "got SWOL".  We worked some legs but mostly upper body. Last night driving home my arms were so exhausted I could barely drive. I woke up this morning and  was surprised my arms didn't hurt at all.  That was 2 hours ago.... My arms are becoming more and more fatigued.  I am keeping my protein intake solid and I have been stretching.  Here's to going hard and shocking myself.

What Inspires You?

I'm curious to know what inspires other people to keep working at it.

Part of me is scared to really commit to lose the weight again because the only reason I really see my self as thin is looking back at pictures.

I was MUCH happier then than I am now in that body, but I still didn't view my self as being thin.

Even I can admit that I stuck with the challenge in the beginning to prove someone wrong.  Now I want to stick with it to prove myself wrong.  You know that age old saying "you don't know what you got til it's gone"?  That is how I feel about my previous weight loss.

So I am looking to see how anyone keeps with it.  I know I don't have many readers but if you do read this I would love to know what inspires you to keep working on it, what ever "it" is for you.

reality check

Been pretty down on my luck the last couple of days.  But today, I watched THIS and my perspective has been altered a bit.

New quote: "You can either sit in the basement and wait, or you can get out there and do crazy stuff" 

What would your next move be if you were terminal?

New goal

While on my lunch at work I was browsing through The Chive and came across THIS lovely cache of pictures of beautiful women with tattoos.  I constantly look at Chivette's for my fitspo and I've decided I can't wait to get back to goal so I can have my own (classy of course) picture posted on The Chive.

ANYWAY..

In other news, THIS SHIT IS HARD.  I am tired, discouraged, sad, lonely, and quite honestly I could use a strong drink or 7.  I have been really balancing my love of food vs my wanting to be fit and healthy.  I think to myself that being overweight is doable.  I can learn to find flattering clothes and not be insecure.  Now please don't misunderstand me, I love myself and who I am, but when I was thinner and healthy I felt so alive and amazing!  I want that feeling again.  I want it more than I want to drink, I want it more than I want to snack, and I want it way more than I want to sit on my ass and watch TV.  I saw this on Pinterest and it made so much sense.

Also, my lovely friend Lisee showed me how she made a fitspo collage for the background on her phone so I made one for my lock screen and one for my wall paper with some things that inspire me.

I used some ecards and pictures of myself when I was in LOVE with myself.  I know I can get back there and this little reminder when I open my phone helps :)

ACV

Apple cider vinegar. Whose tried it to aid in weight loss?  I've tried fat burners and they really mess with my heart and over all feeling. So, I have heard that certain raw versions of apple cider vinegar can assist in weight loss. I did some research and found that it is relatively cheap so I figured what the heck! You're supposed to take 2 teaspoons before each meal. So here is the correct kind of ACV with the "mother" haha this made me laugh. Well we will see what/ if it does anything for me. I will keep you posted :)

What the hell happened to me...

6 AM run.... Check. Midnight workout.... Check. Plans for 6am workout... Check.... The expression on my face says it all... WTF got into me. My thoughts on not getting much sleep is this.... If I can stay up drinking like a sailor until 3 AM then get up and be at work at 8AM, why can't I work out and still get more rest. This is a lifestyle change I have been craving. I've always wanted to be addicted to the gym, so here it goes!

Running before I'm alive

So I have this best friend... See below. She's gorgeous, sweet, fit and by far my greatest motivator. When I don't believe in myself she pushes me too. Anyway... Last night we planned to go on a run before I went to work this morning. I hate mornings. She called me and called me until I got out of bed then showed up at my door dragged my butt outside an made me go with her. And here we are at our local herbalife shake place. I don't do herbalife but their protein shakes fit into my nutrition just fine. Here is my lemon iced tea, my chocolate PB protein shake, and my new PB2!

Struggling

I'm really having a tough time balancing nutrition and life. I know I can do it. I keep messing up but I feel so close to the edge of greatness that I'm trying not to get discouraged. I looked at all of the pictures of myself when I was thin and it was pretty darn tough. BUT it has only made me want to push harder to get back there. I have made an album of pictures on my iPhone that has all of my skinny pics my progress pics, pictures that accentuate mu current size ( lets be honest my current unhappiness) and pics of healthy beautiful women that inspire me. When I feel like binging, not working out, or just crappy, I look at them and it inspires me. On another note of something else that's going to be super hard I have decided to quit smoking (another nasty habit I recently picked up). This includes smoking when I drink. Here is a pic of my last pack. Donezo. Hope everyone is doing well in spite of the hard times.