Wednesday, October 3, 2012

BElieve in YOU


Well I've did OK this last week.  I drank alcohol and ate crappy fast food over the weekend.  But other than that I stayed on point with my nutrition.  I cut drinking slurpees and Starbucks which was a lot easier than I figured it would be and I feel really good about it.  I keep thinking about how hard and miserable it is to be overweight.  No diet, no "lifestyle change", no workout, nothing is as hard as waking up feeling like dirt on the ground when your overweight.  This morning I woke up feeling like crap, I had no text messages, no Facebook love, and quite honestly I felt unwanted and crappy.  Then I crawl out of bed and look in the mirror and blame all of my problems on the way I look and feel.  I HATE feeling overweight.  The feeling/high I experienced when I was down more weight (not even at goal) is irreplaceable.  I will be back there, and no it won't fix ALL of my problems, but I feel when you wake up and you look in the mirror and you are proud of the way you look and proud that your PJ's are falling off (not tight like mine) it gives you this empowerment that you can do anything and take on the world.  I love that feeling, and don't get me wrong I often have that feeling, but often times that angry little bitch voice in the back of my head creeps up and tell me " ok, tell yourself that, whatever to get you through the day hun".  It's a constant struggle now, between getting down on myself and constantly having to re inspire myself and pull myself up by my shoelaces.  Before it was effortless, I woke up and I was so proud of how hard I was working and the body and lifestyle I created for myself.  In great news, after I woke up feeling unwanted I weighed myself and I was down 3 lbs!  WOO!  I plan on having a almost flawless week with no alcohol at all this week!  I know I can do it!  Even though I have a constant struggle the positive ALWAYS outweighs that negative bitch voice.   I am my biggest cheerleader and I want myself to succeed more than anyone.  Remember if you don't believe in yourself, how can you expect anyone else too?







Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Regression

To anyone that follows this blog you have been able to see the little app on the left move from 0 to 38 pounds lost. That also means you have been able to see it move from 38 pounds lost down to only 13 pounds lost.  With the combination of my 21st birthday and my relationship ending I have gained back 25 pounds.  As you may have seen from the post below, I have tried to get back to it and finish my goals.  But I wasn't serious enough or prepared enough to actually do that.


Today is a different story.

I came across this picture on pinterest today and it was almost like a slap in the face.



Which is the worst for you?

For me losing weight was hard BUT I truly did like it.  I felt energized and confident in what I was doing.  I haven't gotten the chance to maintain BUT I can guess that when I live in the skin I feel the best about i will feel much better than I do now.  Since I got rid of all my "fat" clothes currently nothing I own fits me.... It is dreadful looking for clothes in the morning everyday.... I hate going out because I feel hideous. I feel like everyone can look at me and see my regression.  My confidence is completely gone.  When I sit, I can feel the fat rolls on my back. This is truly the HARDEST hard.  I will no longer continue to live like this.  I am tired... and hungry ALL the time even though I am consuming  2-3 times my needed caloric intake.  I need to kick the addiction again and go through withdrawal of the terrible foods that I have been consuming.  I do not regret the way I have been living the last couple months BUT I will not let this be it for me.  I will be fit once and for all and learn how to live a new lifestyle that incorporates everything I want it to.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

8/2/1/

As painful as it was, I stepped on the scale this morning. I knew I had put some of my weight back on. With the excitement of turning 21 and my month long celebration, I put on 13 lbs back on. While I have been saying I need to get back on track, nothing was definite until I got on the scale and physically saw my weight and faced the truth. It is better to confront your problems in the face than ignore them until they sneak up behind you and put you back to square one. Putting on the weight is very frustrating. I Didn't want to share it with my self let alone my blog, but I feel it is absolutely necessary if I am to continue my journey and reach my goal weight. This is only I minor set back. I have printed out my nutrition plan and I am ready to work hard. This next week or so will be hard to detox from the horrible food that I put in my body. But I've done it before and I know I can get through it.

Moral is, confront your demons and take accountability! That is the first step in getting back to it.

Monday, July 9, 2012

7/9/12

Today a friend reminded me I hadn't posted on here in sometime. I will admit I am struggling greatly with continuing my journey. While I haven't continued to lose anymore, I have kept the weight off. I was also comfortable enough to wear a bikini last week in Vegas for my 21st Bday. My mother forced me to take a picture so here it is!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Surprises



So yesterday I did it!  I ate flawlessly on time and on nutrition with every meal.  I even rode my mom's stationary bike after work and before class.  I was very impressed with myself.  This morning I decided that I had to face the scale and see what damage I had done since my last weigh in on April 17. I was expecting the worse, thinking I was going to weigh in at 170lbs which would be a gain of 4.5.  To my surprise, I lost 2 lbs!  I am now 163.5lbs down a total of 36.5 lbs.  Needless to say I shocked myself.  Even though I was eating badly I continued to track.  I think that still gave me some accountability with the amount I was consuming.  Today is a new day and I am looking forward to keeping up the hard work.  My family is doing a fitness challenge where you set your own goals and try to achieve them together!


Here are my goals for the challenge:


Final goals, run a 5k in under 30 minutes, lose my final 15 lbs and find a comfortable maintenance plan. My weekly goal is to workout 5 days a week for an hour doing at least 30 min of HIIT.  I also want to complete my other two fitness competitions ending June 17th and June 22nd!


I wasn't going to write my goals down, but it seems like a very important step!  Feel free to share your goals!  


Since my job is only seasonal and tax season just ended, my last day of work is in 2 days!  I have decided to take a big load of classes this summer and not work.  I am so excited and nervous seeing how this is my first time since I was 15 that I haven't worked!  I hope to really focus on my fitness and health the whole time!

Here is a picture of my before pants!  They are falling off as I walk!  I feel like a gangster!



Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Re-motivation


Well, my "cheat week" surprised me.  I thought since I was so miserable eating foods that were bad for me that i would have no problem getting back on the band wagon.  Man was I wrong.  I have been struggling badly for the last two weeks, but I am determined to get back to it.  I understand that minor slip ups happen.  The most important thing is realizing the problem and getting re motivated.  While I have been struggling I have noticed and learned so much about myself.  I would have to admit that I have a problem with food.  Hiding it to eat it, lying that i didn't eat as much as i did, and pretending that it really wasn't that bad.  These were all habits I had practiced before I lost my weight.  The only problem is i did not recognize them as being a "problem" at that time.  These last two weeks, i reverted back to all of those negative practices and I felt so bad.  Aside from feeling sick bad, i felt embarrassed and ashamed of my actions.  I felt like I had relapsed and my family was too nice to call me out on it.  I am shocked to think that is how I lived my life before.  I do not want to continue on like this and I know that the ONLY one that can fix that is me.  No one else.  I believe in myself enough to know that I have the power within to accomplish any and all of my dreams, not just pertaining to weight loss.  I am ready to complete my journey and move on to maintaining this lifestyle.  No matter what your struggle is, remember that you are the only one that can help yourself.  The power lies within.

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Interesting

Well I am two days into my so-called "week off" and I am learning so much. Taking a week off is not going crazy eating as much food whenever I want. I am staying within my maintenance calorie level. I'm not watching the carbs, fats, or proteins like normal and I am definitely not eating clean. Today is the third day of this and honestly I feel like shit. I am not mentally upset like I thought I would be. I physically feel yucky. I am worn out right now at 11 am. I got plenty of sleep too! yesterday for lunch I had pizza (my ultimate favorite food) for the first time in 90 days. I was so full that the thought of eating anything for the rest of the day repulsed me. I know that not eating is bad for my metabolism but I felt like if I ate anything I would puke. I even woke up this morning still feeling full, which was then met with sharp pangs of hunger and starvation. There seems to be no equilibrium with this lifestyle of not eating small, clean, and healthy meals often throughout the day. My life feels very disorganized now that I have this freedom of eating whenever. I'd even go as far as saying that it is causing me a bit of anxiety. I can't believe that food and drink has that much effect on my daily life. I was going to go a full seven days like this, but I honestly don't know if I can keep this up for that long. It's weird to know that i allowed the life I was living before cause so much negativity in my life! I am using this as a lesson to me and everyone I know, While the starting part may be tough, the overall rewards, not just the cuter/smaller clothes, but the mental and physical benefits that you don't relate to weight loss are greater than anything I could have ever imagined. That is how I know that THIS is truly a lifestyle change, not a diet.

Tuesday, April 17, 2012

Day 84 :]

Today is not as good of a day as I thought it would be.  Today is day 84 of the first challenge.  First I woke up two hours before I was supposed to tossing and turning.  I turned on some music and tried to go back to sleep only to be bombarded with bad dreams.  I dreamt that I weighed in and I didn't lose any weight this week.  I also dreamt that i was late to work.  It just plain ole sucked!  When I finally got out of bed I went and weighed in at barely losing 1.5 lbs...  That is not the number I wanted to see.  So right off the bat I was disappointed.  My start of work wasn't so great either, I was still bummed from the mornings events.  After talking to my coworkers I started feeling a lot better and now I am feeling good.  I have decided to take this week off from being so restrictive and have some of the foods I have been craving.  This does not mean I will be going crazy eating whatever I want whenever I want.  I have to remember that I am in control of the foods I eat.    Anyway!!  My first contest is officially over!

Here are my results:

Starting weight 1/24/12: 193
Ending weight 4/17/12: 165.5
Total lost in last 84 days:  27.5 lbs
Total weight loss in my journey: 34.5lbs

In the challenge alone I have lost 17.75 Inches total around my body.  For full history on my inches lost you can look at my bodybuilding.com stats here.

Here are my Before and After pictures:

Left is Day 1/ Right is Day 84

Left is Day 1/ Right is Day 84

Monday, April 16, 2012

4/16/12

Well I am just hours away from finishing my first challenge! We took my measurements and I will be weighing in and taking pics tomorrow morning! Here is a picture of the ring my boyfriend gave me for our first year anniversary. It fit snug on my ring finger and now it doesn't fit on ANY of my fingers! I never knew I could lose weight from my fingers! It is just a reminder that everything is affected when you lose weight!

Sunday, April 15, 2012

So proud!

I am so proud of myself for finishing the race!!! My unofficial time is 1:13 and some seconds! I am so proud of the amount I actually ran! I was hoping to make it in by 1:15 and I beat that for sure!!! I will say that I got really sick after, my stomach cramped up and I am not sure why. I am feeling mich better now! I am very happy with the experience but that distance might be the farthest I can go. Towards the end I was really dreading finishing. I was tired and I just wanted to walk. I realized that it was ALL mental. I had to stop over thinking what was actually happening. When I was running, I would tell myself that I needed to rest so i could power through later. I stopped and examined what was tired on my body. My legs didn't hurt, my arms sure didn't hurt and I had my breathing under control. Every time I wanted to stop jogging I would go through my mental checklist. If anything was tired I would walk but if not I kept going. I was psyching myself out mentally, and in the past this has really messed me up, not just in running but in all aspects of life. Remember when you think you can't do something go through the metal checklist of all the bad things that you think are happening. I have surprised myself on how much I can actually accomplish when I stop over thinking things.

On another note I have 1 day left on the bb.com $100k body transformation contest! I can't believe how within reach it is!!! Woo!!


Here are some pics from the race. I think I need some smaller shirts!!!!

10k

We are driving on our way to my first 10k!!! I am extremely nervous seeing as how I have never ever done this distance not even in training. I also didn't get much sleep. We went to a friends birthday party and we got home early however I soon discovered I left my purse with my timing chip there so we had to go back. :( its ok I am still awake and so pumped to achieve a personal goal! More to come later today with my results!!! This is me ore race!!

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Wow!

I can't believe my first contest ends on Tuesday!!!!!! This is the first time I have been this close to accomplishing a long term goal! I am so proud of myself. I know that I will most likely not win this contest because I still have body fat to lose. However I feel like I have won. So far I have lost 26 pounds in the first eleven weeks. I have learned so much and I can't wai to keep going!!!! This is me Easter Sunday in a dress I got about a year ago from an amazing boutique in Westlake called Twyla K! It didn't fit me then but I loved it so much. I wore it and it was comfy and even fit a bit loose!!! YAY!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

14 Days

Wow.  I am only 14 days away from finishing my first body transformation contest.  I cannot believe how fast it has gone by.  12 weeks or 84 days sounds so scary and far away.  When I made the decision I wasn't sure i even had faith in myself to finish and make it all the way through.  No look at me, with 14 days left I have decided to enter 2 more contests and am on my way to making my fitness dreams a reality.  I cannot believe it.

My totals are as of last week are as follows;
28.5 lbs lost total (hoping to hit 30 tomorrow at weigh in!)
21.5 lbs lost during the first 70 days of the challenge!

Last Friday I had to take before pictures for bodybuilding.com's live shredded $10k body transformation contest. When I compared them with my beginning pictures taken on 1/24/2012 I was really excited, I can really see my results!!!  See for your self!


Left picture taken on:1/24/2012
Right Picture taken on:3/30/12




This has motivated me so keep pushing through and make my dreams come true!

I have entered the iSatori Iron Warrior 90-day Challenge end date: 6/17/12
I also entered the Live Shredded Contest end date: 6/22/12

I also signed up for 10k in 2 weeks!!! I must be crazy!!!


My 21st birthday is 6/30/12 and I CANNOT wait to sit poolside in Vegas beaming with confidence and pride in the work and effort I put into my body!




Monday, March 26, 2012

Oh Monday...

Here we are the most (un)wonderful day of the week... Monday.  My weekend was good to me!  I ran in my second ever 5k race and really enjoyed myself.  I ran the Great Race of Agoura Hills 5k.  My bib time was clocked in at 35:27.  My goal time was between 34 and 35 so I am happy with that. I ran all but a total of 3 minutes.  I am very proud of myself and how hard I pushed myself!  I had such a good time I am searching for my next couple of races!  It looks like my race of April will be the Gator 5K/10K Run!  I am going to up my game and do the 10 k!   I am so excited and nervous to race a further distance but it will be a good push.  Here is my race picture!! I had so much fun.


 

My nutrition plan is going very well.   I have cut out dairy and switched to almond milk, I have switched from whole grain bread to Ezekiel bread, and I have switched some of my other carb sources to oats or rice cakes.  I have also lowered my daily intake to about 1250 calories a day.  I still feel satisfied with each meal.  I placed an order at bodybuilding.com last week and I am very impatiently waiting for the arrival of the package.  I ordered MX-LS7 (fat burner) and H-Blocker (pre-workout booster) from the iSatori brand.  A friend that kicks butt in the Body building field suggested it based on results him and his wife have seen and I am all for results so I ordered them!  I also ordered some Walden Farms Products!  I am so excited to try them, they offer calorie free, carb free, and fat-free condiments.  I will let you know how they are!  I also decided to enter another contest! I will post more info on that as soon as I am all set up! 

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Sample Day in Food :]

Here is what my meal options look like!!!!  I am also going to post something regarding how much eating and supplements cost me daily/weekly/monthly to show everyone how little it actually does cost to eat clean and be healthy!  Enjoy :]

Meal #
Carbs
Protein
Fats

1
30
20
4
2
30
20
4
3
20
20
4
4
20
20
4
5
10
20
4
6
10
20
4
Meal 1 and 2 Options

carb
protein
fat
cal
Cereal 3/4 cup
25
4
1.5
120
Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk 1C
1
1
2.5
35
Protein Powder 1/2 scoop (heaping)
3
14
1
65

29
19
5
220
Cafeteria Egg Whites 1/2 C
0
13.3
0
67
2 slices Ezekiel 4:9 bread
30
8
0.5
160

30
21.3
0.5
227
4 Rice Cakes
28
4
0
140
2/3 scoop protein Powder
2
16
1
87

30
20
1
227
Protein Bar
18
20
5
200
Popcorn half bag
12
3
0
45

30
23
5
245
Meal 3 & 4 Options

carb
protein
fat
cal
Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk 1C
1
1
2.5
35
Protein Powder 3/4 Scoop
3
18
1.1
98
Oats 1/4C
13.5
3
1.2
75

17.5
22
4.8
208
Cereal 1/2 cup
16.7
2.7
1
80
Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk 1C
1
1
2.5
35
2/3 scoop protein Powder
2
16
1
87

19.7
19.7
4.5
202
Protein Bar
18
20
5
200

18
20
5
200
Meal 5 & 6 Options

carb
protein
fat
cal
Rice Cake
7
1
0
35
Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk 1C
1
1
2.5
35
Protein Powder 3/4 Scoop
3
18
1.1
98

11
20
3.6
168
Protein Bar (only pre-workout)
18
20
5
200

18
20
5
200