Interesting

Well I am two days into my so-called "week off" and I am learning so much. Taking a week off is not going crazy eating as much food whenever I want. I am staying within my maintenance calorie level. I'm not watching the carbs, fats, or proteins like normal and I am definitely not eating clean. Today is the third day of this and honestly I feel like shit. I am not mentally upset like I thought I would be. I physically feel yucky. I am worn out right now at 11 am. I got plenty of sleep too! yesterday for lunch I had pizza (my ultimate favorite food) for the first time in 90 days. I was so full that the thought of eating anything for the rest of the day repulsed me. I know that not eating is bad for my metabolism but I felt like if I ate anything I would puke. I even woke up this morning still feeling full, which was then met with sharp pangs of hunger and starvation. There seems to be no equilibrium with this lifestyle of not eating small, clean, and healthy meals often throughout the day. My life feels very disorganized now that I have this freedom of eating whenever. I'd even go as far as saying that it is causing me a bit of anxiety. I can't believe that food and drink has that much effect on my daily life. I was going to go a full seven days like this, but I honestly don't know if I can keep this up for that long. It's weird to know that i allowed the life I was living before cause so much negativity in my life! I am using this as a lesson to me and everyone I know, While the starting part may be tough, the overall rewards, not just the cuter/smaller clothes, but the mental and physical benefits that you don't relate to weight loss are greater than anything I could have ever imagined. That is how I know that THIS is truly a lifestyle change, not a diet.