Regression

To anyone that follows this blog you have been able to see the little app on the left move from 0 to 38 pounds lost. That also means you have been able to see it move from 38 pounds lost down to only 13 pounds lost.  With the combination of my 21st birthday and my relationship ending I have gained back 25 pounds.  As you may have seen from the post below, I have tried to get back to it and finish my goals.  But I wasn't serious enough or prepared enough to actually do that.


Today is a different story.

I came across this picture on pinterest today and it was almost like a slap in the face.

Which is the worst for you?

For me losing weight was hard BUT I truly did like it.  I felt energized and confident in what I was doing.  I haven't gotten the chance to maintain BUT I can guess that when I live in the skin I feel the best about i will feel much better than I do now.  Since I got rid of all my "fat" clothes currently nothing I own fits me.... It is dreadful looking for clothes in the morning everyday.... I hate going out because I feel hideous. I feel like everyone can look at me and see my regression.  My confidence is completely gone.  When I sit, I can feel the fat rolls on my back. This is truly the HARDEST hard.  I will no longer continue to live like this.  I am tired... and hungry ALL the time even though I am consuming  2-3 times my needed caloric intake.  I need to kick the addiction again and go through withdrawal of the terrible foods that I have been consuming.  I do not regret the way I have been living the last couple months BUT I will not let this be it for me.  I will be fit once and for all and learn how to live a new lifestyle that incorporates everything I want it to.