Confidence

Fact: A scale measures your weight.  Fact: I want to lose some of that weight and never find it again.  Fact:  Muscle weighs more than fat.  Fact: I would be happier to see a smaller version of me in the mirror than on the scale.  

I am having some anxiety about these facts that are true for me.  I physically SEE my self losing weight in the mirror.  My legs, my stomach, and my face all look smaller to me, however I am not seeing the same results on the scale.  My weight is stagnate and sometimes it even shows that I gained weight.  and that is impossible.  I have been eating cleaner now than I was when there was results on the scale.  I eat around 1400 calories a day split into 5 meals.  I do my cardio for at least 45 minutes.  There is no way that I can't be losing weight.  I am confident in what I am doing.  I am finally eating healthy and cleanly and exercising.  I have decided to stay away from the scale until my next goal date which is January 28th, 25 days away.  I feel that I may lose the confidence I have in myself if the number on the scale doesn't drop.  I am going to keep doing what I am doing and rely on what I see and feel to see my results.  I am confident in myself and I know that I can do it!!!

On to other subjects...   New Year's resolutions...  I love you, I think you are great.... but I'm not setting one.  It seems like every year people set these goals for themselves.  Did you know that only 1 out of every 10 people setting new year's resolutions actually accomplish them?  That is only 10%!  This is basically setting yourself up for failure.  I feel like this would always be tucked away in the back of my mind and my self sabotage would overtake me.  So in other words... no resolution for me. 

On the day after Christmas, I agreed to participate in a Half Marathon at the end of April with Jason's mom's best friend, Lisa.  To some people this seems like nothing, but to me this sounds crazy!  I am not the best at running, jogging, or even walking for that matter.  I was SHOCKED that I agreed to this (and no I was NOT drinking at the time).  So,  I have been walking/ attempting to jog on the treadmill and outdoors.  I decided maybe it was a good idea to sign up for a 5k (3.2 miles) so try to build up my stamina.  I signed up for one that benefits a local high school marching band.  It is on Jan 21st... 16 days away.  When I signed up I thought to myself,  "shoot a half marathon is 13.1 miles, I bet I can do 3.2 no problems".  So, I signed up paid my non refundable entry and went about my day more motivated then ever.  We got off of work early that day so I thought i would walk the distance of a 5k around my neighborhood to get a feel for the distance...  I think I am in over my head...  It felt like it took forever!!!!  The distance was way longer than ALL of the easily walked neighborhood paths combined!!!  I did it though, and it took me 48 minutes and 45 seconds.  My average mile was 14 min and 48 seconds.  I was very proud of my self for finishing it.  I have done 3.2 miles everyday since that day and I cannot break that time!  I have decided to try to do the 5k in less than 38 Minutes and 40 seconds.  This means I need to make a 12 min mile!  When I attempt to jog at the gym I get winded really fast and feel like I am breathing way too hard for the amount of exercise I have done.  I am, however, confident in myself that I can do what I set my mind to.  I will do it!!

Sorry this post was so scatter brained!!!  There was just so much I wanted to talk about.  I am going to try and up my posts to at least once every two days. I am trying to be confident in myself.  No matter what is in my way,  I am the only one that can change my circumstances.