Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Future You

Today has sucked.  For some reason I was pretty depressed today.  I didn't feel like doing much of any thing.  I hurried to the scale to see my weekly success and I was disappointed... I only lost 2 pounds.  My cheat day was over the top.  Now this is the part where I usually say F*** it and binge on some tasty (unhealthy) food.  But I didn't, I laced up my shoes and headed out the door for a little run.  I live by the Rosebowl in Pasadena so I usually head down there, run one side of the loop and back around.  It equals 3 miles total.  I use the AMAZING free app, C25K or Couch to 5K, by ZenLabs. (Here's the info).  Today on my normal route, I stumbled upon this inspiring chalk art.

It says, "Future You Says Thanks".  How cool is this?  The Rosebowl gets a lot of traffic of all sorts of people going around the 3.2 mile circle.  You have everyone from the extremely fit to the extremely unfit.  I found it extremely inspiring, but I got some funny looks when I halted mid run to snap a picture.  haha Whatever, I wanted to save this little moment of unknown inspiration.  Anyway, I came home made some tasty egg whites with a quarter of avocado and whole wheat toast, showered and got some grocerys.  I came home and decided it was gym time.  I was a tad more upbeat when I got home (I'd like to thank my run for the endorphins) so, once again I laced up my shoes and headed to the gym.  This is when my funk really set in,  I do not know what it was but I became extremely depressed during the first 30 min of my workout.  I knew I wouldn't be coming back so I pushed through and did a total of 1.5 hours of cardio.  The most I've ever done in 1 sitting.  I still left the gym super sad and lonely.  I got home and crawled straight into bed.  The whole time I laid there all I could think about was how much of a failure I am and how I would never be able to finish the 45 day challenge.  I should just give up and eat what I want. .. Blah Blah Blah the usual self hatred crap.  (Yeah, I shouldn't do that, but really everyone does).  When my family got home I went to sit with them and we chatted about why I felt so bummed out.  My aunt's friend paid me a very very kind compliment about how determined and positive I was.  This reminded me how I have done this before and how I can continue to do it.  I need to complete the 45 days, not only to look and feel healthy, but to prove myself wrong.  I had about 120 calories left for the day, I had made a pretty hefty sandwich for lunch,  so I had some thinly sliced chicken breast lunch meat and two of the mini babybel light cheese wheels.  I'd say a MUCH better choice than the binge I had been planning in my head.  My aunt also reminded me how decreased my caloric intake was and how clean I was eating compared to before I started.  It's completely normal for me to be detoxing from all the processed shit I was putting in my body before.  I just need to stick with this for the 45 days.  It will really give me the kickstart and confidence I need to turn it into a lifestyle.  And I know for committing to the 45 days future me does say thanks.  Do something that makes your future self say thanks.

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