Today has sucked. For some reason I was pretty depressed today. I didn't feel like doing much of any thing. I hurried to the scale to see my weekly success and I was disappointed... I only lost 2 pounds. My cheat day was over the top. Now this is the part where I usually say F*** it and binge on some tasty (unhealthy) food. But I didn't, I laced up my shoes and headed out the door for a little run. I live by the Rosebowl in Pasadena so I usually head down there, run one side of the loop and back around. It equals 3 miles total. I use the AMAZING free app, C25K or Couch to 5K, by ZenLabs. (Here's the info). Today on my normal route, I stumbled upon this inspiring chalk art.
It says, "Future You Says Thanks". How cool is this? The Rosebowl gets a lot of traffic of all sorts of people going around the 3.2 mile circle. You have everyone from the extremely fit to the extremely unfit. I found it extremely inspiring, but I got some funny looks when I halted mid run to snap a picture. haha Whatever, I wanted to save this little moment of unknown inspiration. Anyway, I came home made some tasty egg whites with a quarter of avocado and whole wheat toast, showered and got some grocerys. I came home and decided it was gym time. I was a tad more upbeat when I got home (I'd like to thank my run for the endorphins) so, once again I laced up my shoes and headed to the gym. This is when my funk really set in, I do not know what it was but I became extremely depressed during the first 30 min of my workout. I knew I wouldn't be coming back so I pushed through and did a total of 1.5 hours of cardio. The most I've ever done in 1 sitting. I still left the gym super sad and lonely. I got home and crawled straight into bed. The whole time I laid there all I could think about was how much of a failure I am and how I would never be able to finish the 45 day challenge. I should just give up and eat what I want. .. Blah Blah Blah the usual self hatred crap. (Yeah, I shouldn't do that, but really everyone does). When my family got home I went to sit with them and we chatted about why I felt so bummed out. My aunt's friend paid me a very very kind compliment about how determined and positive I was. This reminded me how I have done this before and how I can continue to do it. I need to complete the 45 days, not only to look and feel healthy, but to prove myself wrong. I had about 120 calories left for the day, I had made a pretty hefty sandwich for lunch, so I had some thinly sliced chicken breast lunch meat and two of the mini babybel light cheese wheels. I'd say a MUCH better choice than the binge I had been planning in my head. My aunt also reminded me how decreased my caloric intake was and how clean I was eating compared to before I started. It's completely normal for me to be detoxing from all the processed shit I was putting in my body before. I just need to stick with this for the 45 days. It will really give me the kickstart and confidence I need to turn it into a lifestyle. And I know for committing to the 45 days future me does say thanks. Do something that makes your future self say thanks.
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